Night Swimming

Different Mudhole @ Dusk #1, a photo by []Aaroneous Monk[] on Flickr.

I learned tonight that R.E.M. is disbanding which resulted in a torrent of memories bubbling up to the surface. I followed the link a friend posted and watched the video for “Night Swimming” on their website.

It reminded me of a time when I was serving as an infantryman in Korea in the early 90's. I was walking back to my barracks sometime after midnight having just come from hanging out with Korean friends in a coffee shop. Half way there I passed the base pool. Some irresistible urge forced me to stop and stare across the road at the blue glow of the pool behind the high security fence. A tremendous wave of melancholy washed over me. My mind began to fill with thoughts of my situation, far from home, far from family and friends, trying to find lasting friendships and relationships in a situation that was impermanent and tenuous at best.

The feeling was so strong and so intolerable that I headed across the road keeping an eye out for MP’s in their humvees. I scaled the high fence and squatted at the water’s edge looking into its depths. As if in a trance I stripped down to my boxers and allowed myself to topple forward into the water. I remember the glow all around me, the sensation of floating, feeling detached from my cares. I swam for no more than a few minutes staying mostly underwater. I wanted to continue to do that until the sun rose, but getting caught would have resulted in serious consequences in that environment. I eventually got out and put my clothes back on with my boxers soaking through my pants and walked the mile left back to my barracks where I quietly returned to my bed and fell asleep.