No Matter What

How many times has he tried to annoy me,

a poke, a punch, a negative answer to a 

positive question.  He needs to know I love

him no matter what, even after all the yelling

and threatening that ends in the ill advised

epithet.  Gawd, why am I such an idiot?  I 

can't help but think that he deserves better,

some ideal parent somewhere who sees

him more clearly, who loves him more

dearly, this boy of ten for whom I would

suffer any insult, any degradation, any 

slight to see him fly higher, freer, stronger.  

***