The Reckoning of Now

When things have been rough 

(and they’ve been rough recently) 

I’ve had the tendency to escape 

in my mind to the past, to what 

I would consider happier times.  

Today it strikes me that this is 

a highly selective and greatly 

illusory process that  allows me 

to hide from myself...

my failings, 

my shortfalls, 

and pockets of downright dysfunction.  

Who can save us from ourselves?  

It’s like sharing a foxhole 

with an enemy combatant 

while the war rages all around.  

Can I look with pity on this man that is me?  

As much as I want to separate myself from him?  

Is this what it means to love one’s enemies?  

There is truly only the reckoning of now.

***