The Anthro-botanist

So called Anthro-botanist Dr. A. Monk squatting amongst his subjects at the Topiary Park, Columbus, Ohio 

-Reuters

“It was truly a remarkable discovery” insists Dr. Aaroneous Monk who had simply crossed the street from his hospital for a lunch break.  What he discovered was the Topiary Park behind the city’s main library on Grant Avenue.

“I’ve always been interested in the interactions between the animal and plant kingdoms since I was a boy living on the edge of a small town in Southern Indiana.  Our backyard was contiguous with a field of wild grass running back to what was the beginning of cornfields stretching off into the distance.”

As he walked in the park he says he noticed many of the shrubs were humanoid in shape which was his breakthrough moment.

“A breeze came through and rustled what seemed to be a chorus of numberless leaves that sang to me in a way that I could understand.  And not only that, but mixed aromas of verdure invaded my nostrils and an overall feeling of fecundity perfused my awareness.  I was overwhelmed!  And then my pager went off.”   (he frowns)

From this experience he has created the field of “Anthro-botany” as a nexus of man-plant issues and interactions.  Field work for him includes wearing flora and standing still amongst the other plants for hours at a time, swaying in the breeze when appropriate, and wearing skin moisturizer that smells of lavender.

“I am becoming one with Brother Bush and Sister Sage.  I feel like I have found my true calling and can grow accordingly.”

The hospital could not be reached for comment, but it does not appear he is employed there anymore.  Brilliance is seldom understood, it would seem.

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